none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
