yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
