Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
