Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
