Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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