Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
