You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
