i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
