If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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