I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
