Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
