Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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