): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
