i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
