I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
