Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
