I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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