I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
