Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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