I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
