I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
