need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
