I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
