Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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