im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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