We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
