So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
