You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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