ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
