therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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