Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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