Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
