youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
