This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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