It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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