My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
