were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This house was built for laser tag.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
