Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
