I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
