yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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