If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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