She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
