I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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