remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
