theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
