I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
