She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
