why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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