I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
