Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
