remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
May the power of my ass compel you!!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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