Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
