Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
